GZ Expat, Part II

It's not quite the same

Yeah, I usually stay away from the work stuff...but this one is just a little different because our office is different this morning.  Part of it is due to the summer arriving...the weather is crap and most people have taken off on their summer holidays.  Part of it is the fact that the USA is all out on holidays this week as well, due to the upcoming Independence Day holiday.  The biggest reason is due to our longest serving employee in the office has retired.  She's not here...and its different.

The office aiyee (literal translation is 'auntie', but its used as a term for 'maid') had worked for the company for 21 years...dating back to 1986.  Back at a time when multi-national companies were just starting to venture into China...when the country was slowly allowing foreigners back on their soil...back when Deng Xiao Ping had a vision for his country that was ravaged by years of in-fighting and cultural wackiness.  She took a chance and took a job with one of those new companies...at first to help with the initial family that moved in to open the office, then to help take care of the growing office. 

She never missed a day.  She never got around to learning English...which is OK, because I have never gotten around to learning Chinese.  She would simply come into your office, grab your wastebasket and give you a 'ni hao' or 'heeellooooo' on the way out.   Although she did not personally clean the office, she knew what needed to be done and she supervised the cleaning company to get it done right.  She didn't like slackers...and on more than one occasion had I seen her give a good old Canto-Smack tongue lashing to a lazy worker (including expats!).  In a world of iPods and fancy electronics, she would relax in an empty conference room with her pocket transistor radio and single earplug, listening to her radio programs.  She was old-school...and it was refreshing to have her around.   

At 72, it was time for her to move on.  She was one of those people you come along in life and just know that they have your back.   For the countless expats that have come and gone through this office...she truly has been an 'auntie.'  One of the unwritten rules for any new GM coming into the office was...'Don't F* with Wong Yee.' and everyone pretty much kept to that.  She made her decision to relax with her family...and we all wish her all the best.

Swamped

I've been absolutely swamped with work the past couple days.  All day meetings which have injected way too much information into me. 

I've got a lot of catching up to do...I'll be back soon.

Tax Day

It's time to sit down and do taxes.  Taxes are incredibly complicated for the expat gig...so the company hires professional companies to take care of this stuff for us.  Well...at least, that is what we are told...

In the old days, we would gather all our forms and reciepts and a guy would come from the accounting firms main office in Beijing...go over what we had...ask a few simple questions and it was done.  Today, they give us a website and we are expected to provide all the answers.  For this, the accounting company gets paid.  For what?  For us to do the job for them.

So, today, I enter the site for the first time.  Besides the fact that their site was not operational until this week (uhhh...that gives us less than a month to get things done), once I entered the site and waited for it to load (5 min)...I was told that it is not compatible with Firefox.  AND, I am also told that it is not entirely compatible with IE7.  WTF is it compatible with?? 

So, here I sit...with my stack of documents...plowing through this awful website.  While living in the USA, I had a local accountant that I would deliver my pile of docs to.  A couple weeks later, she would call me to come in a sign the returns.  $100.  Done.  No hassles...no stupid questions...the best $100 I could ever spend anywhere. 

First on the agenda is to input my assignment, so I can fill out a calendar that tells them exactly which days I have been in the country and out of the country.  So, to the passport I go, trying to make sense of the stamps in and out of the country.  In between refreshing of the screen, I am blogging.  How sad is that?  Consider it therapy (I've already told them to F* off and pounded the desk several times).  After I complete the calendar, then I have to go on to the 1,000 word questionaire.  That will take some concentration.

So...wish me well today.  If I don't throw the computer out the window (I can't do that, its the only working computer in the house right now), or scare the hell out of the neighbors.  But, I see expat son is in the street playing ball hockey...I just may have to join him in a brawl or something...and imagine it is the accountant in Beijing that is out with his family right now, while I do his job for him.

UPDATE:  Calendar finished...approximately 30 minutes to complete.  With all the friggin' days off we get, it's a wonder I work at all during the year!  3 days for Labor Day (workers of the world, unite!), 3 days for national day, a week for lunar new year...and then home leave, Christmas and thanksgiving day.  It's about a month and a half just with those days.  No wonder I like working over here!!  On to the 'Organizer.'

UPDATE 2:  I'm well into hour two...still going on the Organizer.  Nearly finished...but my back is aching and I'm no more happier than I was 2 hrs ago.  I continue to wonder why I need to do this...the questions are so simple, but it take so much time to refresh between pages...I just sit here and sweat at the heat the desktop is generating between screens.  I'm on to charitable contributions...so its making me feel good all the orgs I gave some cash to...

UPDATE 3:  It's done.  Three hours later and its done.  This is a testament to the American tax code...confusing, intrusive and confiscatory.  I have just spent 3 hours out of my weekend to complete the preparation for the actual tax documents.  I didn't DO the documents...just answered questions about what was needed.  Hello, flat tax??  On top of that, because the way my employer deals with taxes and taxation, this is really something I shouldn' t be doing at all.  As an expat, living overseas, we should only be paying the taxes of the country we work in, not the home country.  And, employers of people they have overseas, usually pick up the tax bill for those employees...its just that my company desires to really make the books look strange by asking us to pay hypothetical taxes and then filing return forms each year.  It's ugly.

At this time of the year, always remember...it's YOUR money!  You earned it.  Demand that you keep it...vote for lower taxes...always. 

Now that this exercise has really gotten me into a chipper mood...I think I'll have a B&C and call it a day.

Stealing is a Crime

This blog recently celebrated its 2nd anniversary.  It's arrival came about, because another blog service I was using crashed and I lost everything I had done to that point.  It wasn't much, but it was enough to put be off of that service.

This blog has gone through a feeling-out period, a serious period and has evolved into what it seems to be today.  Of the things I have tried to focus on in the past and today are news bits that interest me...life in China...hockey and anything else that strikes.  One of the things I have tried to leave off this has been work.  Work is work...blogging is blogging.

Sometimes (rarely in my case) work interrupts life.  Generally, I have always been pretty good about separating life from work.  For a long time, Tai-Tai didn't even really know what I did for a living, because I just didn't talk about that stuff at home.  I've always kept the same rules for the blog...keep work and the blog separate. 

But then, over the past week, certain events at work have taken its toll on me, personally.  It was one of those typical sort of things that happen at work. But, personally, it stole away my faith in people and how they behave (if only for a moment).  Perhaps this happens because I am too trusting and somewhat naive of things that go on around me...but, then, I often think of that as my strong points too.   There are no pretensions with me in the workplace...do your job and I'll have your back.

As bloggers know, you may pour your heart and soul into a blog post, and then maybe find the same thing in another post, without the customary quotation or link back.  As with most bloggers, I don't mind the usage of the information, I just want the courtesy of the link back.  Without that courtesy, people will call it plagiarism, stealing, theft; all of which are crimes.  Work is the same way...if you spend countless hours working on something, you would like to have the 'link-back' if someone decides to use that work. That didn't happen this week, and I feel angry, betrayed, and vulnerable all at the same time.

Those feelings have subsided somewhat, as I confronted the situation and had my say; now its time to move on.  I don't dwell on these things and I have a very short memory when it comes to many things.  Not this.  Yes, I am over it...but, I won't ever forget.

As I enter my third year on this blog, I hope I don't have to break the rules of posting work related posts.  Here is to a great Year of the Pig...especially for all the thieving pigs out there.

Presentations, Part II

I survived the afternoon of presentations last Friday.  I was impressed with myself that I was able to keep nearly everyone awake...and incidents of nose-picking were probably the lowest they had been ever.  That is a record worth cherishing.

The key with your average Chinese audience is to keep them captivated with pictures and fun.  But, not the type of fun of quiz's and things like that.  I find my audiences prefer bright pictures, music and video if possible. And, the shameless toss out of candy now and then (Thanks for listening...have a snack.). 

I was interested in how they would all react to some of the big terms, buzzwords, that try and impress the average American audience, but flies right over the head of the 'English is a second language Asian audience.'  Here were a few that threw them all...

• Irreverent
• Eclectic
• Innovation
• DNA

After a few slides with these terms, I simply asked, 'Do you all understand what <insert term here> means?'

Silence.  Blank stares.  A few scramble for their cell phones or Blackberry's to check the dictionary translations (even though I told them all to turn them off at the start of the meeting). 

'Anyone?'  Starting to feel a bit like Ben Stein.  The only thing missing was one of them sleeping on the table with drool coming out from the corner of their mouth...

Segway to today; Sexual Harassment and Corrective Action policy seminars from the head office.  Oh boy. 

I've been through all this.  It's the same old, same old.  Don't grab the secretary's hooters and tell her she could get a better job if she only gave YOU a job.  Yadda, yadda.  Anyone that has worked for an American company has gone through all of this and it is all familiar.  I used to work at a bank and every 6 months, they would gather us around and remind us of the jail terms if we are caught pinching any of the merchandise.  It's all the same.  They try and scare the hell out of you with these 'policies' that are meant to 'protect you.'

The presenter didn't even get to the 2nd slide before he hit, 'cannot discriminate based on age, sex, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity...'  The fingers were firmly inserted in nose...huh????  You see, the whole sexual orientation thing in China is definitely a foreign subject to them 

And then the question I never thought I would hear...'what if the person that has applied for the position is a known member of FLG?'  Uhhhhh...ooops.  The presenter was thrown against the wall...pinned.  Nothing to say...errr...'the company doesn't care.'  Well, uh, yeah, it should, because it is an outlawed sect (by law) and (by law) those people that practice it are outlaws.  That is the law...that doesn't reflect how I or 'the company' feels about it.

That was just the start...

Next slide...'the use of vulgar language is not permitted in the workplace.'  How the f* do you explain that one?  Most just looked at each other and spoke in Chinese to each other to try and gain an understanding of it...especially since most, if not everyone, uses colorful metaphors throughout the day to describe a good or bad job done by anyone.

Walking out of that meeting, I am sure the nationals had the same reaction I did when I first attended the meeting...don't look, say, smell, greet, smile, breathe on, at or toward anyone in the office...EVER!  In fact, just telecommute from home and NEVER send an email to anyone that may be offended. 

After a weekend of exhilarating presentations, I am wondering if I can handle any more...the calendar says yes...Wednesday.